Fifty Five Years Together: Memories Read First
The slideshow above contains a few photos over the years we were together
This blog is about the 55 years that my late wife and I spend together, including some vignettes of events in that period of our lives. The photo on the home page was taken in November 1985 about halfway through our relationship. My name is Bob and my wife’s name is Marge. We both went to Syracuse University in Syracuse, New York, and that is where we met. In 1957 Marge was entering her Freshman year, and I was in my 4th year of a 5-year dual degree program. We met, almost by chance, in late fall of ’57 when she was 17 and I was just 21. We started dating, first casually, then seriously in the spring semester of that 57-58 school year. We dated each other, and no other, until our marriage in 1960 and were married until parted by Marge’s death in 2012.
We had some very good times, lots of ordinary ones and we made mistakes, individually and jointly, but though strained at time, we never gave up on our relationship. Particularly so after her cancer diagnosis. We were in this together, to the end. I am grateful for the entire life we had and continued together until that end. That’s a long time, 55 years, probably unusual in today’s world. So, I have a lot of memories and I want to share some of them in these posts. Writing did help in my bereavement, and it does not come easy. For me, the answer is not out there, it is inside me, and I have to dig for it. You may have to do the same some day.
The post is not about loss as such. It is sharing memories that we had in those 55 years. Some commonplace, some loving, some fighting, in essence, the lives of two people who were together for a long time and shared much.
When Marge was dying of cancer, we did post updates on her condition on CaringBridge. She died in October 2012, and for a while, I posted concerning my dealing with this loss. That is no longer possible. I wanted to write a memoir not about her illness, but of our life, I guess you could call it a blog memoir. Or even a “blogoir” This site is the result.
I hope our lives come across reasonably well. There is an old adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” That was true for us. When we were separated for a significant time, we realized, how much we loved each other, and how insignificant arguments, once appearing threatening, were just blips in out lives. We both believed that we really were meant for each other, and I still feel that way. This blog is my way of acceptance and renewal into the world I now live. If you have lost a loved one, think about the writing idea. It has proved its worth and does not have to be public, as this blog is. It works for me.
Nice to here from you Bob. BTW check your math. It looks more like 52 years of marriage. Either way impressive. Jean and I celebrate our 54th in less than three months and like you, are proud to have succeeded staying together through all the trials and tribulations of marriage. I still recall the day you had me to dinner before Jean was in my life. Meeting Marge and the girls was a pleasure that I still recall. Do they still have the memento I made for them……….lol
We have known each other for a long time and we have remained friends. That is also a great thing.
Thanks a lot for the lengthy comment John. Marge and I were engaged for three years while we were both in college and got married after I had been working for a year and could support the two of us. So we were together in the sense of not seeing anybody else and committed to each other. Some of my early posts here were about our lives at Syracuse University. Yes, I do remember you visiting me and yes, I still have the music notes and have treasured them. So, congratulations to you and Jean on your forthcoming 54th. I am glad that we still can keep in touch.
As I recall you made some musical notes out of wood that could be displayed on a table or bookshelf, right? I think Dad still has them, since they were really designed to go together as a pair, but he would have to say for sure. 🙂