Writing is an unnatural act, as Charles Darwin observed. It is so for me as it was for him. I remember living in Binghamton when Ingrid was 3 years old. We both enjoyed taking a stroll down Leroy street. One day in Spring of 65 while we were walking, a small dog (small to me) crossed our path. Ingrid said with the firmness of a 3-year-old “I don’t like dogs, and I don’t like bugs.” Short simple, and properly constructed in English. We all have to work hard to write, even our own name.
Writing about Margery and myself is difficult. I loved Marge. In college, she would ask me why I loved her and I could not say why. I just knew. It was not love at first sight, though I liked her ever since the “Pigeon Letter” I posted about in the beginning of this site. During the summer of 1958, I owned a car, and worked at the Lake Placid Club during the summer. I did date some different girls then, but somehow, I didn’t care for any of them as much as I did for Marge. Comparison shopping? Maybe. When we re-united in the Fall of 58, I knew she was the woman for me.
Writing about us is trying for me because Marge exhibited more than one personality. If so, which one am I writing about? I acknowledge that even this view represents a gross approximation to a complex person. Marge possessed at least two personalities, and perhaps two different worlds. Her older sister, Pat wrote to me about Marge “I view her in retrospect as an amazing person who touched many lives for the good.” During her funeral service in her church, and at her graveside memorial, many friends and family members extolled her virtues. All True.
To one world she was as a loving mother, a true and lifelong friend, a helper to others. She volunteered her time in our small library in Coopersburg.She volunteered for many responsibilities in her church. In her work life she helped others by becoming a Legal Assistant helping lawyers make better use of their time and training. She worked as a tax preparer for H&R Block helping clients to navigate the thickets of IRS filings. She worked as a Mediator for Clark County assisting clients to resolve interpersonal disputes. She worked in this capacity including the years when she was dying with cancer, and never quit. She was fired “in absentia” for using too much sick time. She died at home, shortly after that.
The above description is true for that world and that personality. In the other world, our life together, she was sometimes quite different. I posted her 1990 (approx) personality report previously. People can and do change as a result of feedback about themselves. I believe that Marge became more comfortable in the 90’s with herself, me, and the two of us together. We did have some very good times, some nice times, humdrum times and bad times during our married life. Subjects for subsequent posts.
When we married, society provided us with a foundation to build our future life upon. In addition, it provided us with the raw materials: the wood, plumbing, and appliances, to build this life . It was up to us to assemble our life together by ourselves. We were, I believe, poorly prepared for this. We each brought our own memories and impressions from our own family lives. We did stay together, slipped, tripped, and fell along our journey. We eventually forgave each other for our errors of both omission and commission, and that is the most important thing to say here.
My sister-in-law, Pat, once stated that Marge had informed Pat that she and I were truly meant for each other. I agree 100%. We were meant for each other. It took a long time to realize this.